Apparently I’ve won a Lambda! What an incredible honour to be listed with all these amazing folks. Wow. Just being nominated was such a thrill. And, as it turns out, it was a big night for Canadian queer writers. Big congratulations to everyone! And a huge appreciation to the Lambda Literary Foundation for the incredible work they do shining a spotlight on LGBT writing.
I’m still reeling, and having fun remembering that when I was coming out the formative books in my life were also Lambda winners. My first girlfriend lent me Stone Butch Blues, which I read in a single very long night and which truly did change my life.
Winning this award has been an interesting experience. I strongly identify as queer, and have for many many years, but I never used the word lesbian, even when I was only dating women forever and ever amen. I didn’t mind being called a lesbian (my parents used the word a lot and it wasn’t inaccurate), but I just loved the word queer – it fit for me. Recently I find myself in love with a man, and sometimes wonder what the queer world will make of that. I don’t feel any less queer for it, and don’t particularly want to trade in my label for any other. I’ve been happy to find out that I can follow my heart and desire even if it means changing ideas about myself. It does make winning an award as a Lesbian Poet a little complicated. But I’ve decided that I’m just going to let the joy win out – I’m feeling excited and deeply deeply honoured.